A Feeling of Nakama
by SpringThunder
Summary: COMPLETE. Dive into the mind of Nico Robin as she attempts to assemble and sift through her thoughts of the Strawhats after being rescued by them. A Post Enies Lobby Songfic.


**Author's Notes:** So, after years and years of not writing and being extremely busy with schoolwork, college, graduate school and whatever other excuses I could find, I finally came back to the fanfiction world. I've re-read my previous works and with the possibly exception of the Rurouni Kenshin fic – Struggle of Life – have deduced that my other works have been written without much insight, future planning and quite literally, extremely horribly sentence structure and grammer.

So, just so I could get back into the swing of things and get a feeling of what it is to write fanfiction again, I have come up with a short little piece entitled _The Feeling of Nakama_. Because I had trouble finding One Piece stories that did not tell about what Robin's most intimate feelings were after she was rescued by the Strawhats at Enies Lobby, I thought I might include one up there for people to read. It's pretty much my rendition of it. Reviews of all kinds are welcome.

Anyway, I hope you enjoy this little thing I came up with in a few hours or so. I really didn't proofread much because I was lazy, but I think the majority of it was fine. There really isn't anything fancy about this story in terms of vocabulary and dialogue. Most of it is simply dwelling into Robin's current stated of mind.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own One Piece or _Boulevard of Broken Dreams._ Both are owned by Eiichiro Oda and Green Day, respectively.

* * *

**The Feeling of Nakama**

The orange tinge in the sky slowly evaporated as a dark purple encased it. The stars had started to glitter through the net known as space, to the point where they were as visible as the bright moon itself. Nico Robin turned away from the raucous party and found a solitary wall away from the noise. Leaning against it and looking out towards the commotion, she stared into the big campfire that the captain started not too long ago. _"It burns brightly,"_ was the one thought that crossed her mind. The embers floating away into the air reminded her of the fireflies back home. They would burn brightly as the sun, a source of light during the times of darkness. As quickly as the thought brought a smile to her face, it took it away. Robin exhaled deeply as she took a sip from the drink in her hand. She did not even know what she picked up, but on the insistence of the captain, she took it nevertheless. She would have put a name to the taste, but surprisingly, she forgot to taste it as the liquid went down her throat. It was quite bitter actually.

Sighing, Robin exhaled deeply once again. This moment, this point in time, it still felt too good to be true. The scene in front of her unfolded quite similarly, to the point where it was simply downright frightening, as a dream she had before they had arrived at Water 7. Something still felt uncomfortable. Truth be told, she was still terrified. The goosebumps and shivers threatened to show on her body and it took almost all of her concentration to not let any of it manifest in a physical form. After another deep breath, Robin once again exhaled deeply, and slowly. Finally…she finally had time to think - time to be able to actually wrap her mind and make sense of her loose thoughts that filled her mind. They were thoughts that contradicted one another. They were thoughts that, if left alone, could sway her fragile heart to pieces. She needed to regain control of herself. She needed to find some kind of balance within her own heart. If not for her own sake, it had to be definitely for everyone else's.

_I walk a lonely road  
The only one that I have ever known  
Don't know where it goes  
But it's home to me and I walk alone_

If someone were to ask her honestly, a few days ago, whether or not she expected them to come for her, she would have answered no. To her, there was no one in the entire world that could be trusted. There was no one in this wretched ocean that would selflessly help her, knowing full well of the dreaded past she carried in her body. That was the case, especially with pirates. They were the worst; always placing an obviously fake smile upon their faces, feigning warm and comfort. And then, when her guard would be dropped, they would come and kill, unmercifully. It was a lesson learned painfully, but a lesson learned nevertheless. There had been too many painful times in the past where people she had sheltered with, people who gave her their word that they would take care of her, stabbed her in the back, and it would have been quite literally too if she actually had given her trust to them. No, she had learned from Saulo's death…trust was too much of a fragile and expensive gift to hand out carelessly. Once it's given out, it cannot be taken back. Given out to the wrong people, and that pretty much guaranteed of one less trust she was able to part with. Apparently, the seventy eight million beli reward was worth more than her trust. Especially to pirates.

_I walk this empty street  
On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams  
Where the city sleeps  
and I'm the only one and I walk alone_

Apparently, they had put a price on her life. As a child, she could not believe it. Why was it that when everyone at Ohara frequently told her that life was priceless, the World Government, an entity that ruled the vast ocean and its role was to keep everyone safe, wanted her dead or alive, in their clutches? It was them who had put a price on her life. It was them who told the world that seventy eight million beli was how much her life cost and was worth more than her trust. She remembered crying that night when she first saw the wanted poster. She had felt terrified. The fear she felt now seemed similar to the fear she felt back then.

A loud noise brought her out of her reveries as Robin looked towards the source. She couldn't help but smile as she watched the doctor…_ "No…his name is Chopper," _perform a very odd dance. From past experiences, it was apparent that someone had just complimented the reindeer and he was feeling joy like no other. If there was someone in that motley crew she would call a friend, it would be him. Countless times they had talked about the books that they had read, their views on medicinal advances of the world, the history of the sea, and so on and so forth. He was a smart animal, and a devil fruit user like herself. Sometimes he would surprise her too. Robin vividly remembered him telling her that she was a great person. No one, as much as she ravaged through her memories, had genuinely told her that she was a great person. Upon hearing that phrase, she recalled a moment of unguarded shock had appeared on her face, Chopper growing worried that he said something wrong. How that could be further from the truth. Closing her eyes, Robin envisioned the scene she engrained in her heart. He was there on the tower.

_My shadow's the only one that walks beside me  
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating  
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me  
'Til then I walk alone_

Once again, her reverie was broken by a boisterous melody. And once again, she could not help but to smile and laugh as she looked up to Long-nose kun…_ "No…his name is Usopp…or rather Sogeking at the moment,"_ and saw him sing out his newly patented theme song. If she had to honestly speak her mind again, she would admit that he was the easiest person to read out of the entire crew. Always, she had wondered how he was able to come up with such extravagant and extraordinary lies, keeping such a straight and proud face in front of those that actually believed them. As strange as it sounds, it's definitely a talent - a talent to compliment the other two that he undoubtedly carries…courage and sharp shooting. She was shocked to see him on board the runaway train when she relinquished herself to CP9. He was there, the shaking in his legs so extreme, she had to briefly wonder whether or not he was going to leave her and escape, like everyone else did. Before she even was able to finish the thought back then, he proved the thought wrong. He told her to keep the faith - that they would not abandon her. It was at that point when the non-existent hope within her flared to the size of the tip of a needle. That began her belief. Robin closed her eyes again, picturing the scene engrained on her heart. He was up there on the tower too.

_I'm walking down the line  
That divides me somewhere in my mind  
On the border line  
Of the edge and where I walk alone_

This time, it was not a sound that diverted her attention from her thoughts, but the aroma of something delectable. The dishes of Cook-san... _"No, Sanji-kun is his name…"_ If she had to honestly speak her mind at that moment, she would admit that she could very well envision Sanji as a knight in shining armor. She honestly did not know what to make of the love cook, so for the most part, she really did not react to many of his callings and antics…mostly because she didn't know how to react. And she was afraid to give him false hope too. A fleeting memory suddenly came to the forefront of her mind as the day when she asked them to allow her to join the crew. Everyone had given her a questionable, fearful look at one point or another. In all honestly, those reactions sent warning bells in her mind that this crew might be just like all the others in her past. Robin smiled ruefully at how wrong that turned out to be. But the fact cannot be denied that it was Sanji who immediately had acceptance written all over his face. Even though at the time, she had an ulterior motive for joining them, she secretly felt elated that someone would accept her for her and not anything else. Sighing once again as she heard her stomach rumble slightly, she closed her eyes and pictured the scene engrained in her heart. He was up on there on the tower too.

Unconsciously, Robin took another sip from her chalice as she surveyed the scene, where her eyes rested upon the navigator, _"No…her name is Nami-san,"_ with the love for oranges, much reflected by the color of her hair. If she was forced to speak the truth right now, it would take her no more than a second to announce Nami as a sister. Robin had always wondered how her life would had been had she had a sibling, regardless of the sex. Then maybe, just maybe, her past would have turned out slightly differently than how it was scripted. But that was not to be the case and given her situation at this very moment, it would be hard to make a case for that scenario. That is why, if the characters lined up properly to spell out "sister" in any manuscript, novel or book she happened to be reading at the time, Nami would be the first image that appeared in her mind, no matter what the context would be. She honestly believed Nami defined the definition of that word to the fullest, no more and no less. Robin shook her head, almost as if trying to break herself out of her trance, and witnessed Nami bonking Sanji and Usopp on their head. Robin could not help but to smile slightly at the sight, a sight she had witnessed countless number of times before. There was not a single memory that Robin could have pinpointed that identified itself with Nami. No, she knew the bond between her and her self-proclaimed sister ran deeper than simple memories; ran deeper than blood could ever tie two people together. It was a bond that was indescribable, almost as if words could not do justice in defining what that bond meant to her. Taking another deep breath, Robin closed her eyes as she felt that bond engrained in her heart. She was up there on the tower as well.

_Read between the lines  
What's fucked up and everything's alright  
Check my vital signs  
To know I'm still alive and I walk alone_

If she was in the right mind, Robin would probably have felt the temperature of the fluid in her cup dropping ever so slightly, but because her eyes had started surveying the raucous party once again, her senses were concentrated elsewhere. It was then when her gaze rested on the swordsman…_ "No, his name is Zoro,"_ who, at the moment, was drinking with members of the Galley-La shipwright company. If she was forced to speak the truth that rested in her mind right now, she would admit that Zoro was the one person that probably understood her true nature the best. He was also the one person who suspected her for the longest, and for what it was worth now, Robin did not blame him. Given her past, who would not be suspicious of a felon who had only till the other day, worked with a dangerous, underground society with one of the _Shichibukai_? Even through their adventures into Skypiea, she remembered having to sleep one eye open, as no doubt, the swordsman did as well. But in the end, it was that common ground of distrusting everyone, which made them come to some sort of understanding towards the end of the Sky Island adventure. It was the fact that he also had a past that sculpted him into a person who did not easily hand over his full trust to just anyone, but only to those select few that were luckily chosen to board the pirate ship that bore the Strawhat jolly roger. Though he spoke the truth about dire situations, emotions were something he was never good at expressing, another common tie she felt they both shared to some degree. Regardless of what other insignificant relations they shared, Robin sighed happily as she leaned further down the column she was resting upon, knowing full well he'd be there if needed. It was this feeling that Robin had engrained in her heart that conveyed what the swordsmen meant to her. He was also up there on the tower that day too.

It was then, when Robin was about to take another sip of her drink, that she noticed the temperature change on the liquid held within the cup. Her eyes struck fear as she witnessed the frigid air emanating from the now frozen liquid and Ao Kiji's voice. He had told her not to move a muscle, but really, she was too paralyzed with fear to do so of her own will. Their conversation went as quickly as he arrived and left, and when the frozen drink turned back to its original state, despite whatever common sense her brain was trying to convey to the rest of her body, she went to look for him, only to see nothing. He had left, but the fear he brought with him emanated just as strongly as witnessing Saulo's death. Teeth chattering, eyes brimmed with tears, she tried to regain herself by hugging herself with her arms, but her body was not responding. The chilling fear that the organization behind him brought to her nerves was the fear she had to face alone for the last twenty years. She was, truly and fully, scared to death.

_My shadow's the only one that walks beside me  
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating  
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me  
'Til then I walk alone_

And then, when Robin thought she was going to break apart right then and there, the one voice that brought her back from the once thought impenetrable fortress of Enies Lobby, the one voice which now had once again released her from her prison of fear, called out to her. Robin quickly wiped away the tears that threatened to spill down her face. As she turned around, she noticed the captain…_ "No, his name is Luffy,"_ doing something so outrageously awkward and stupid, that given the current state and situation Robin was in, she could not help but to drop her jaw slight in shock. However, as quickly as the shock was written on her face, it was removed by a warm smile. She closed her eyes. If she was forced to speak her mind right then and there, with no hesitation in her voice, she knew that she would say that Luffy was the one person in the world, her one shining beacon of light that blazed brightly through the darkness that had previously encased her world, the one person she literally owed her life to, a person she would gladly die for to see any of his dreams come to fruition, Luffy would be the one person she would want to spend the rest of her life by simply being in his presence.

She had read in stories, in magical fairytales that common folk claimed never were true, that pirate crews had bonds within them that brought them closer together than anything else which was known throughout the world. Love and family ties supposedly dwarfed in comparison to the ties pirate crews held to one another. As a child, reading these stories, she would dream about having friends like that, because apparently, she was told they did not exist in the real world. And who was she to argue with those adults, because it was evidently true in reality. Every crew or guardian she stayed with always ended up betraying one another over sins of lust and greed. Never was that more apparent than with Crocodile. The exact second she was determined as useless, he had sliced her apart. Like a tool, once overused, they were thrown away.

_I walk this empty street  
On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams  
Where the city sleeps  
And I'm the only one and I walk a..._

However, his crew, that he built from scratch, without any given blueprints, was different. It was nothing like any of the other crews she had spent parts of her life with. And she discovered that fact almost immediately upon her decision to reside on his little ship, when they went up to Sky Island. The simple look on their faces as the ship pummeled upwards into the sky was all the evidence she needed. And at the foundation of this crew was Luffy.

Robin's eyes stayed closed as she thought of words to describe this immense feeling of warmth that had suddenly erupted throughout her body as these thoughts ran into her mind. It was then, as she opened her eyes to witness the chopsticks in Luffy's nose that she finally understood the meaning of the word that dominated the Grand Line and defined this feeling.

_Nakama._

This feeling, which correlated to Luffy, along with all of the other feelings she had of the crew, now filled her once empty heart. As she ran over to join her crew, Robin felt a big smile appear on her face, a smile like one she never before created. The fact that Luffy was the first one up on the tower that fateful day told her that she finally found her place in his vast world.

_My shadow's the only one that walks beside me  
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating  
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me  
'Til then I walk alone..._

No more was she an insignificant or lonely soul lost upon the sea. No more did she have to walk alone in this life. She finally had been found. She had been found by her _nakama._


End file.
